2010

It was this time last year that I started my relapse. It's interesting to think back to where I was, what I was doing, feeling, etc. I talked about it to my lady today and we discussed the major life changes and what a different place I am in now.

Including...
-I have a full time job. Last year I was done at the Chrysalis and working at the most 11 hours a week at Paper Dreams. This caused incredible stress about money, bills, which made me incredibly anxious and thus the 'rice cake adventure' began. Ah yes, I started controlling the only thing I knew how to, food intake. But this year, I have an amazing full time steady job, which means no alone nights only eating 2 rice cakes and laying there. I got shits to do!

-I live with the love of my life! Last year was the condo, which was lonely especially because I became reclusive. But now we have an amazing beautiful house, so cozy with our new bedding. I love love love coming home to Travis. I love knowing he's coming home to me. It is the best gift.

-We have Oliver. So that means even if I do have an alone night, it will be spent playing with Oliver and fending him off from latching onto my face. Better than not eating.

-I'm happier. I fell into a lot of sadness due to my inability to handle my money and bills. My parents were incredibly hard on me, granted they didn't know that I was in the midst of relapse and what my mind was doing.

This month I want to take it easy. More at home time, hibernating with Travis and Ollie watching movies sounds wonderful. I want to perfect my popcorn making while we do that too. The past couple months have been a blur and were super busy, so it's kinda nice to slow down. I want to get rid of some clutter, reorganize, and maybe add a block to my running route.

To me, that sounds pretty great.