7 Questions on Recovery

Today while reading Kim's blog, her therapist from her inpatient center she had gone to e-mailed her these 7 questions for her fourth book. So I thought awesome, you know how much I love structure/questions/forms! Sign me up! Here goes...

7 questions about recovery:

1. What do you think were the keys to your recovery? (not a long answer, just a list and explanation of why)
-Travis. Checks and balances between me and my lady. Accountability (Even thought I fight it with all my might sometimes). My parents finally understanding that I have a disorder and wasn't just lazy.

2. What effect did it have on you to work with recovered staff? (all the staff members at Monte Nido have recovered themselves; you could adapt this question to discuss how important it is to have a therapist, or other treatment team member, who has recovered)
-Okay, so obviously this doesn't apply to me. So um pass.

3. How would you describe the concept of an eating disorder self vs healthy self?
-Ha. Eating disorder self (picture Gollum of LOTR) is mean, degrading, says I'm worthless, full of rules, rituals, guilt, shame, etc. Healthy self? Picture me smiling :) Healthy self practices forgiveness, balance, humility, self worth. Love.

4. What would you say to those struggling with reaching out to people instead of food? How did you learn to do this? How has it changed your life? What made it so hard?
-I was glad when I realized I needed help. Yes I know I still do. It's important to stick with it. Even though it sucks so much so much of the time. I had to be pushed into some things but they were for the best and I think I'm more social than I was a year ago for sure. My body changing and thoughts that go along with that have been and will continue to be the hardest.

5. "It IS about the food": Thoughts?
-It is and it isn't. It's about anxiety for me then being shifted to food control to somehow 'calm' the anxiety. Slippery slope of the control and power of not eating. Hrm.

6. How have you found meaning outside of your eating disorder? How have you created a fulfilling life for yourself?
-I'm working on this now. I'm trying to learn some hobbies, new interests, new passions, goals. For the first time in a long time I'm going to ask myself (my real self) what do I want? Really? I have no idea how to answer this yet.

7. How did you get motivated to get better? What helped you stay motivated? How did you find motivation after losing it?
-Travis. I am getting better for him, for us, and yes for me. Even though that part is still pretty small. And my parents, even though I am very much torn on that whole situation, but I know that they need me to get better. I need to get better to live a full life with Travis so we can travel, play, and love tons.

More later.