My lady asked me on Thursday if I could give one word to describe my eating disorder what would it be? This took me no time to answer, control. She added anxiety as well. Control, structure, comfort all wrapped into one. I am learning to still keep these things because they are important, but act through them in a way that is healthier, obviously. I like the structure of these questions, it helps organize my thoughts, which so often feel so random. So here goes again...
Feeling
-Really full
-A little anxious
-Calm
Wanting
-To stop thinking about the 3 cookies I ate
-To stop thinking about the nachos and cheese fries
-To focus on all the exciting things ahead, especially tomorrow
Because
-I deserved the cookies dammit, they were good
-Again, I deserve to eat, even if it's nachos and cheese fries
-I have been looking forward to our Halloween party for so long
Procrastinating on
-Finding stupid heels
-Canceling my Regence insurance
-Making a new doctor appointment
Looking Forward To
-Baking tomorrow
-Decorating tomorrow
-Getting dressed up
-Spending a day off with Travis!
Daily Gratitude
-I am so happy and lucky to have great friends like Sarah and Val
-Travis looking at me with those amazing eyes and making me feel like a princess
-Fall weather !!!
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