A Day

It's important to count each day. To recognize each day. To live each day. It's too easy to bypass a day in preparation for another. I'm still practicing the art of being in the moment. Travis is the master of that and he has helped me a lot.

I am still terrified of the changes that are happening. It is so scary and beyond hard to explain. My nutritionist told me to take these 2 types of tummy pills every night for a few weeks to get things going digestive wise. I haven't been very good about it yet, because the couple nights I took it, the day after I felt so uncomfortable. I understand I have to stick with it and just make it through those days. So ugh, tonight I will take all of them.

I have a cold right now, my head is fuzzy, my throat is sore, and my nose is runny. My colds usually last 3 days at the most. I work too, which honestly I would rather be working than sitting at home sick. Because god knows I do not do well sitting at home being sick, I go insane. So I am thankful to be here, even with sickness. Tonight I will take some Nyquil and sleep as much as I can, repeat tomorrow.

I forgot I am supposed to be writing down what I am thankful for. So today, Sunday, I am thankful for
-The beautiful fall weather and all the colors
-Halloween decorations
-The amazing things Travis told me last night
-Being able to go home to the love of my life

As for writing things that I love about myself, here goes :)
Today I am rather smitten with my nails, they look nice. I am also feeling okay about my stomach right now (my awful scary area), I am trying to get used to seeing my hip bones leave. Positive note on that would be when they leave I get to exercise again :) Which makes me really happy, I miss my morning runs. I am very excited for that again. Actually, on Friday I went for a run, it was a slow one, but deserved due to my weight gain, and it felt truly great.

I go in for my weight on Tuesday. I am torn whether or not I want to see it. I don't want to but I also don't want Sue to mumble it again. I will flat out tell her no. I loathe her...
The last thing I want is to not become obsessed with the number. I would rather feel my body change than look at the number. On the other hand, sometimes it is comforting. Hrm? Still have a couple days to think on it.

Also, on a side note. I read this blog, the girl who is 29 and seriously every post she does there are so many similarities between us it's silly. This week she watched "Shrink", so did I. She cleans and does laundry to feel accomplished (same), she worries about money all the time (same), she eats little kid cliff bars (same), she fears disappointment from people and talked about that in therapy (so did I last week). It's just funny to read because I feel like we think a lot a like. It's nice to know I'm not the only crazy one out there too. Also, she has a kitten she adores (I still need one) and has an amazing, supportive, loving man ( I'm positive mine is better though).

Moving on.

I have always thought it was important to always have things to look forward to. Whether it's a coffee date, a trip, or something as simple as going to a pumpkin patch. It's nice to look ahead. So, I will write what I am looking forward to currently....
-Doing Halloween crafts and baking with Autumn on Wednesday
-Working the 8-4 shift Thursday morning (because I can wear what I want and get to sit down the whole shift!)
-Baking the strawberry margarita cake for the auction on Saturday (and the auction in general).
- Watching Trav and I's scary movie, Boot Camp.
-Oh and I will toss this one out there, being a little more recovered each day.
-Oh and carving pumpkins with Travis

Things I am proud of.
-I allowed myself to have 2 of my amazing cookies, I wish I had more :(
-I allowed myself to eat some of my pumpkin bread (even if I was a little drunk)
-I just had 5 of Yu Ting's fries

These are okay.

It's 8 now and my cold is kicking in more. I feel so weak and just want to be in bed so much. 3 hours....

Wow, it's only 9 and I just ate some crackers and wasabi. Not smart. I feel so cold sick I am counting the hours...