High Anxiety

Hello. It's 7:03 at work on Saturday. This week has been full of anxiety. But I am working through it with help from Travis and Oliver. Thursday night we went out with all our friends and had a wonderful time! Then they all came back to our house and stayed super late. It was really great because we are all going to Vegas together.
Friday I had a difficult 'body' day. I'm just trying to recognize where the triggers come from and go from there.
I am really trying to love my body.
Thankfully I was able to switch my days off so I now have Mon/Tues off. Tomorrow (Sunday) at work will be slow and quiet. I hope not too full of anxiety. Monday I have a hair touch up appointment at Za Zen with my new favorite hair lady.


It's 8:23.
8:41 now. Woot.











Edit this part of the post was from Wednesday.----->>>>>>>>>>>>Wasn't that a movie? I feel like I am spinning, literally. I went to my lady which was good and then went to the doctor. Floyd wants to see me next Wednesday. But I'm just not sure what to do until then. My lady specifically wants me on something until Wednesday but I don't think they renewed my RX. I don't know.

So again with my cosmic theory of us disordered eating people kinda having one brain. As I was writing this I skipped to 'Ed Bites' and Carrie's post is as follows
...

"Oh the anxiety

So I had planned to do part two of the DSM-V eating disorders series, but that got sidelined by a massive bout of anxiety. I can't think straight. I can hardly sit still. I have chewed my nails into nubbins (not that there was a lot for me to chew, but somehow I managed). I have a lot of uncertainties in my life: if I'm going to be able to make a go at being a writer, if financially everything will work out, if I'm ever going to be free of this ED, if if if if if. I hate "if". Tell me "when." Now would be nice. I spent much of the evening working on my writing projects and getting nothing accomplished because my brain kept zooming from one worry to the next. I eventually gave up and flipped through my newest National Geographic. In some sense, I'm tolerating the anxiety because I haven't completely imploded. In another sense, I want to just crawl out of my own skin. My mom asked if there was anything she could do to help with the anxiety. I looked at her and said: "Could you get me a treadmill?" It's not even the burning calories part that's attractive--that frenetic movement seemed to exhaust my brain so that it was almost impossible to worry so much. And during exercise, my brain shut off completely. So I'm going to go try and get some sleep and hope that everything works out."


Can that be anymore weird?

Anyway. I am now occupying my time by looking up stories of captive animals who have escaped and attacked people. This is due to the death of Seaworld Orca trainer today. The whale apparently grabbed her by the waist and drug her around the pool and underneath and against the walls killing her.