I spend 40 hours a week standing at this desk watching people walk by. Checking in, Checking out, going to the Bistro for dinner or for drinks or for appetizers. More than half the time I see beautiful women, who walk in looking incredible in amazing outfits, walking with confidence and the most important part.....are a normal weight. I see them and sometimes I just get so mad at myself for not being able to be like that. I hate it. It's not fair. Why can't I just accept/love my body and do that. Walk into someplace and not have the first thing I think about being something about my body/weight/stomach/legs. I want my confidence. I want the acceptance of my body. I want to be not always fighting with myself about whether or not I am hating my body at the moment. It changes probably 100 times during the day. My anxiety has been nuts at work the last couple days.
I just....want to relax. I want to look at my body and say to myself 'Okay, this is what I've got, I'll work with it and dress to compliment my body.'
Also, tonight is not my night at work. Eh..
I want to be home with my nut and kitten.
Bleh.
No comments:
Post a Comment