A Rainy Day

I don't like rainy days. I only like them if I get to spend them with Travis or with the girls in a warm apartment watching TV shows. But right now I am at Woods downtown. I have been here about an hour and have gone through a slew of emotions. It's odd. Can't I just stick with one for a while :)

I have an interview tomorrow at the Bellwether Hotel for front desk. I hope more than anything I get it. For a few reasons.
1. I need a second job so bad.
2. It's a beautiful hotel, and I do miss working at a hotel.
3. Even though it scares me and makes me think of the hard times at the Chrysalis, I know that is just Ned saying that to make me not want it or take the job. I need this job to say fuck you.

The Chrysalis was a great job. It was perfect. But Ned ruined it. I never told anyone that. I never admitted how certain days were designated to him and ruining my day when I was at work to then associate the agony that job entailed, when really, it was just Ned. I want to prove to myself that yes I can have this job and not let Ned come to work with me. It was my resume they chose, not his. I will not let my boss down when Ned begs me to call in to work because I am having a 'fat day' and a day of 'not eating.' I do have great memories from working at the Chrysalis, but also so many hard memories due to the daily struggle.

I want this job. I want this job for me. To prove to myself I can do it. To get the discount so Travis and I can stay there. To be at a place where I would work so close to him, and our favorite sushi place :) What a way to say fuck you to Ned. Have another hotel job, get off work, meet Travis, and go to sushi. What a slap in the face :) That just made me smile really big. I feel nerdy doing this at Woods. But a lot better than I did 30 minutes ago.

At 7 I am meeting all the girls from work and our boss at New York Pizza for dinner and drinks. I have chosen, that tonight, it will be drinks for me. I did eat today. Not as much as I should have, but more than I normally would have. I will eat later tonight as well. But I am not quite ready, but know where I am. It is huge for me, that I am even going. For 3 days Ned has told me to not go, make an excuse, you need to sit at home. So fuck it. I'm going. Angela is meeting me in an hour and we are walking over. So there.

There is a pride festival going on across the street, it looks fun, it's pouring though, maybe I'll swing over if it stops. I should have a pride festival for me. I like that.