Hrm...

I feel things have shifted. I went to my lady yesterday and brought my boyfriend with me because she had asked me to and he was more than happy to go. The one thing that still bothers me, is how terrified she looked when I told her we were going camping and how she said it's not a good idea, etc, etc and to talk to my doctor about it. Thing is. I haven't weighed over 100 pounds in 5 years. I was an average 102-105 in high school. Also to note about me in high school, I was a late bloomer you can say, I looked young all through high school, it wasn't until probably a year and a half into college that I finally got rid of the childlike features and looked like a young woman. They say in college is when your body starts to fill out, and you sort of even out. I evened out. I understand 79 is not that weight, but 136 isn't going to be that weight either.

This leads me to my frustration with the BMI, more importantly the mentality of numbers numbers numbers. When I recovered last time, my body evened back out, to what (I think is the most important) it was comfortable with. And it was sustained. This is key. When your body hits where it should be, it sustains itself. I am not an idiot. They think I don't know what they want in 'the long run.' I know what they want. But you know what? This is my life. I want to get healthy, for me. Not for me. To get healthy for the people I love, not for their liability insurance. Not for their notebooks. I am not going to sacrifice my sanity, happiness, my mind basically, so they can add one more check onto their clip boards.