Monday, May 10, 2010

Hrm

I've had a sort of odd 'weekend.'
I had Saturday/Sunday off instead of Monday/Tuesday. This was my fault.
Saturday I did the Haggen 5 k and had a great time then went out with people who all came over after. But Sunday I was sort of lost, it ALMOST became one of those days where my anxiety is sky high and I panic. I was getting to that point then had to pull myself up and just went to the Bellwether to visit. I then decided I had to relax. So I got some cider at Haggen (I was deciding literally for 20 minutes) Then went home had a pep talk with myself that I'm going to put on anything in my closet because they are my clothes. So I got comfy but NOT baggy clothes on.
Then I poured myself some cider, grabbed Oliver and the cat nip toy then watched MSNBC.

I was able to relax. I had moments where I felt fat/lazy/ blah but really actively tried to embrace 'relaxing' 'lounging' etc.

It was hard but okay. Travis got home late and I ended up falling asleep before we could finish the movie.

I'm still sort of in panic/anxious mode. He has today and tomorrow off and I have a long week at work and it doesn't feel like Monday obviously. I'm anxious because he is having a BBQ tomorrow which means I'd like to hang out with people after work, then thoughts like do I eat less because people are coming over then I'll be up later and eat later or do I just eat the same stuff and risk feeling fat when I get home then retreat into the bedroom. Etc.
Crazy thoughts.

I recognize this anxiety comes from a change in schedule/routine.

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