I feel like I'm on crazy pills. Oh wait, I am. This has been a hard couple days. I am still distraught over my clothes not fitting, so I have been boycotting them. I had a minor quiet breakdown last night. I was curled in a ball after work and couldn't move. Travis was so sweet and caring. I feel disconnected to my body and my distortion is out of control right now. I feel huge. I feel like I can't function. I have felt so guilty after eating my cereal the last few nights.
I am so afraid of my body most of the time right now.
I have to really focus on breathing. But ugh. I was on a roll and it's discouraging when it gets hard again.
I'd like to think 'I'm all better and over this' but days like the last few remind me that this isn't something I can just 'get over.' I find myself not being able to get ready in a reasonable time because I am criticizing over and over.
Rrrr.
I am so afraid of my body most of the time right now.
I have to really focus on breathing. But ugh. I was on a roll and it's discouraging when it gets hard again.
I'd like to think 'I'm all better and over this' but days like the last few remind me that this isn't something I can just 'get over.' I find myself not being able to get ready in a reasonable time because I am criticizing over and over.
Rrrr.
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