At work most sites are now blocked at the front desk so I have fallen off of the wagon of keeping up to date with this blog. I can access it from the back computer and will do better from now on.
It's been a turbulent few weeks/month. I can't remember details of far back so I'll stick with this past week, which has been hard. I have been having incredibly bad body image and have been convinced I am frumpy etc. I've been uncomfortable and have noticed that I have been obsessing about it at work more.
Reasons? There is a girl at work that triggers me sure, there are my work clothes which seem to be a daily struggle, there is guilt from eating foods that I have become more custom to. (i.e. oatmeal).
At work I eat a baby cliff bar and usually a little bowl of the pretzel snacks, that's basically it. I'm not literally starving like I was so I'm not usually hungry at work and if I am I eat another bowl of pretzels or find something. When I get home is when I eat my dinner really. It's been sometimes soup, oatmeal, cereal and the other night I even made myself a sandwich. This leaves me feeling guilty/out of control etc. I actively try to ignore it and talk some sense into myself, but you know how that goes.
I've also been reallllly bad about keeping up on my Zoloft and Buspar. I am going to start taking them like I am supposed to. I just kept forgetting for no good reason and I'm sure it has had an impact on my thinking lately.
Besides that I'm okay, I have seen some pictures of my body that don't make me sick, so that's positive.
Bright thoughts~
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