It has been one tough day. Here are possible triggers I've been able to identify throughout the day.
1. I had froccacia bread and a meat and cheese plate at the Fountain Bistro yesterday.
2. I had a bowl of cereal at night
3. I didn't go to the gym
4. I got my period
5. I ran into a girl at work who triggers me
These have all caused me to obsess about my body today. Constant rubbing of the stomach. Constant distortion thinking I look like a literal whale. Which causes bad posture and sad face.
Grump.
Besides thisss day and thoughts, I think I've been doing really well. I'm enjoying the gym and (when I'm not in crazy mode) think I can start seeing changes in my body, I feel stronger, I can do more things etc. So I'm trying real real hard to roll with that.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Cycle
Eating a (larger than normal i.e. Luna bar) meal --> Feeling full--> Feeling guilty---> Feeling like that the full feeling will never subside--> Anxiety over work clothes for the next day--> Distorted actions when putting on clothes
Rawr!
I create in my head that I am drastically larger/different/lumpy/etc then loathe myself in my work clothes....this is one of my biggest triggers. Work clothes.
Trying so hard to go to sleep in peace tonight and wake up in peace
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Down Time
My most anxious times are normally when I have nothing to do, just time to sit. So it's Superbowl Sunday and we are BEYOND slow and Natalie's in the back not feeling well. I have noticed myself probably looking like a crazy person touching and rubbing my stomach at the desk.
I notice that I have pulled up some recovery blogs for some insight. I have also been feeling a bit 'guilty' for not jogging today. The 'Y' was closed. However, I just have to look at this like any other day we take off from working out, days of rest are key and important, I know that well. It's hard for me to let myself relax and to be kind to myself, that's the key.
That's some of the best advice my lady had ever given me. To be kind to myself. Especially after putting it through hell for so long.
So I'm going to try to pick myself up from this slump, go grab a coffee, make some laps and not obsess. The only thing I should be obsessing about my body is how good it looks!
Ha! There eating disorder! Suck it!
I notice that I have pulled up some recovery blogs for some insight. I have also been feeling a bit 'guilty' for not jogging today. The 'Y' was closed. However, I just have to look at this like any other day we take off from working out, days of rest are key and important, I know that well. It's hard for me to let myself relax and to be kind to myself, that's the key.
That's some of the best advice my lady had ever given me. To be kind to myself. Especially after putting it through hell for so long.
So I'm going to try to pick myself up from this slump, go grab a coffee, make some laps and not obsess. The only thing I should be obsessing about my body is how good it looks!
Ha! There eating disorder! Suck it!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
YMCA
Last week we joined the YMCA which I was really excited and finally physically ready for. We had been doing jogs around the neighborhood but it's hard when it's pouring rain, or snowing or 20 degrees.
So today was day 5 of working out. It's been amazing. We get up at 10:30 and are at the gym anytime between 11 and 12 doing our little routines. Mine is running on the treadmill which I missed from working at the rec and love. I completely zone out and have zero thoughts on my body or 'if I look fat' while running. I listen to my ipod and run at 6.5 speed. I have been running 10 minutes, which is perfect and I plan on upping it because I would really like to be able to run a half marathon at some point. It's something I have already seen myself become stronger at from just running a week.
After that I do 10 reps on this one leg machine I really like then 5 reps on a new fun arm machine. Travis does a lot of weights and leg things but we have enjoyed it so much. I'm so proud of both of us because Leslie told us that was our homework, to join and to work out to relieve stress.
So today was day 5 of working out. It's been amazing. We get up at 10:30 and are at the gym anytime between 11 and 12 doing our little routines. Mine is running on the treadmill which I missed from working at the rec and love. I completely zone out and have zero thoughts on my body or 'if I look fat' while running. I listen to my ipod and run at 6.5 speed. I have been running 10 minutes, which is perfect and I plan on upping it because I would really like to be able to run a half marathon at some point. It's something I have already seen myself become stronger at from just running a week.
After that I do 10 reps on this one leg machine I really like then 5 reps on a new fun arm machine. Travis does a lot of weights and leg things but we have enjoyed it so much. I'm so proud of both of us because Leslie told us that was our homework, to join and to work out to relieve stress.
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